Every single person needs validation at some point in their lives, to feel that they are understood and accepted.
Though, it isn’t always going to be easy to get your validation from others, especially when you need it most. So, it’s crucial to know how to validate yourself instead.
Having said this however, it’s important to know that it’s completely normal to want validation from other people like your family, friends, manager etc. Though, some individuals seek external validation to a level that is unhealthy, especially when it becomes an addiction.
When we doubt ourselves and the abilities we possess, we tend to seek the opinions of others in order to make us feel good. And if we don’t receive it, it can make us question our worth while our anxiety grows.
That’s not all though! If we rely on external validation too much, it can cause us to experience depression and reduced self-confidence. Why? Well, because we care too much about everyone else’s opinions. So, when they disapprove or provide criticism, it can be extra painful.
So, let’s stop letting others dictate our worth and grow our self-confidence so we can fully trust our feelings, thoughts and judgements. Learn how to validate yourself today!
So, What Exactly Is Self-Validation?
The self validation meaning defines when an individual acknowledges their emotions, thoughts, values, beliefs, and experiences.
In essence, it is the act of accepting yourself as a whole entity, feelings and thoughts included. This is important as it allows you to learn to manage your emotions in an effective and safe manner, which can aid in building both personal and professional relationships.
Self validation can also include:
- Providing yourself with encouragement
- Prioritising your needs
- Telling yourself nice things
- Understanding your successes, mistakes, progress, and effort
How You Can Begin To Validate Yourself
Just like learning body positivity practices, self validation is a skill that takes time to master. So, it won’t be the easiest thing to do, and it may even feel silly at times. Though if you persevere, then you’ll reap the benefits!
Start by saying or doing one thing a day. Then, when you are confident, aim to increase it to two a day and go on from there to increase the amount every few days.
If you are struggling to imagine how to validate yourself, don’t worry, we have a few steps you can follow below:
1. Pay attention to how you feel, and take note of what you need
For example: I feel lonely. I need to spend time with my family.
2. Accept your feelings and needs without negativity
For example: It’s okay to feel lonely. Anyone would feel lonely after so much time away from others. Spending time with family will help my mood improve. That’s a good thing.
3. Don’t over-identify with your feelings
Accepting our feelings is important, but it’s just as crucial as understanding that they don’t define who we are, and that they are temporary. Feelings are fleeting and they can change instantly.
4. Practice daily to learn self validation and get over self-doubt
Remember, validation is not an end-point, it is a journey and will ebb and flow throughout the days and even years. Understanding and accepting this can take the weight from those down-days and make it easier to get on the path you would like to be on.
15 Examples of Self-Validating Statements
When it comes to validation, it can be frustrating to come up blank on nice things to tell yourself. So, to save you from getting stressed, we have came up with fifteen validating statements that you can tell yourself;
- I’m proud of myself and my accomplishments.
- My feelings are valid.
- It’s natural to feel the way I do.
- My emotions/feelings matter and I will take them onboard.
- This is getting difficult. Can I do anything to cope or feel better?
- It’s okay that I said no to that situation/person.
- I don’t feel like my friend/family member is hearing me.
- My anxiety about the situation is valid.
- I’m more than my mistakes or achievements.
- With what I knew back then, I made the best decision I could.
- It’s not my fault.
- All the unknowns are making me nervous.
- I am not what happened to me.
- Today I am tired and deserve to rest.
- It’s okay to cry.
Along with validating statements, you can practice self validation by journaling about the feelings you experienced throughout the day and taking a rest when you’re tired. Another method of self validation is giving yourself a treat because you care about yourself, whether that is a spa day or a takeaway for dinner, that’s up to you!
Whatever it takes, practising self validation is critical to improving both your mindset and mood. So, start practising today!
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