I could use half a thesaurus of words to describe my 2022 to you. A lot of them wouldn’t make for terribly elegant writing, let alone pleasant reading.

So I’ll put it this way – last year was unrelenting.

Whether we put it down to the great post-pandemic catch-up, or to the messy reality of being in your late twenties/early thirties, my husband and I found ourselves scarcely stopping to touch the ground.

Between April and October, there wasn’t a single weekend where there wasn’t something happening. Chuck two full-time jobs and various life events on top of that, and you were looking at two increasingly bedraggled, belligerent, bleary-eyed millennials. 

In a rare quiet moment in mid-October, we joked that we should block out our calendars to just catch up on sleep for a month. But having named our exhaustion, we realised we needed to do something to slow down our pace of life. And so #noplansnovember was born. 

For the month of November, aside from work and other regular commitments, we would intentionally make no plans. We didn’t have to do anything special with them, but we would deliberately design our weekends and evenings with ‘quiet’ as our top priority. 

That way, when December arrived with all of its Christmas chaos, we’d have some chance of being able to enjoy it, not just endure it. 

It took a bit of gatekeeping.

We were lucky that friends and family had watched us have a really grim, busy six months, so were understanding that we needed a break – but it was still counter-intuitive to have to say ‘No’ for five weekends in a row (especially when precisely those friends and family had been a really important support network throughout said grim six months). 

It was a really privileged thing to be able to do. To be so free from caring responsibilities or financial concerns as to be able to block out a month for self-care is not something everyone can do, and we were conscious of that.

It was also a plan closely wedded to our personalities, which wouldn’t suit everybody: as profound introverts, we knew home was where we recharged. Extroverts are a mystery to us, but I suspect #noplansnovember would be the opposite of helpful for someone whose joy and vitality stems from time spent with others. 

Here’s what I learned from #noplansnovember

1. Everyone admired it

Whenever people asked what were up to in the coming days and weeks, I felt quite sheepish admitting that we were doing nothing, and we were absolutely delighted about it. I work in a field where busy is normal – even idolised – and I was wary of coming across privileged at best, and lazy at worst. 

But that wasn’t the case at all. 

Everyone we spoke to agreed wholeheartedly that slowing down and taking time for ourselves was a noble goal, and a valuable use of time. To me, that response reflects a cultural shift that’s taking place more broadly in the wake of the pandemic, and in light of growing awareness of the importance of mental health.

What I had feared might read as selfish was instead met with respect, as a common-sense way of recharging and regrouping. I wonder how many of our friends might try their own #noplans month some time in 2023.

2. I felt better 

I don’t want to come across as really clichéd – but I really did feel closer to some kind of ‘best self’ after the first three weeks of November.

I’d caught up on sleep, found time to rest and switch off, and had space to appreciate parts of my life that had fallen by the wayside in the preceding six months.

I went into Christmas ready to make plans and see friends after refilling my tanks and reorienting myself. Normally, by the day I log off work for Christmas, I’m crawling through treacle to get to the end – but, for the first time in years, I was still replete with energy when Christmas closure came.

I met every work deadline with fervor rather than fatigue, setting me up for a much more fulfilling January. 

3. We saved enough money to cover Christmas costs

We try really hard not to go Christmas-crazy as a general principle, but gift-giving, gatherings and going away can all add up financially.

The difference this year was that slowing down in November helped us put a little cash more in our reserves than we’d been typically been able to between April and October.

That really took the pressure off when December festivities kicked in, which also meant that the wait until January pay-day didn’t feel quite so long. A quiet November also meant I had some spare thinking time to dedicate to making considered plans for gifts, making them meaningful without bumping up the cost. So even though #noplansnovember wasn’t primarily about saving, it was a great time of year to be alleviate pressure on our outgoings. 

4. I rediscovered the joy of hobbies

Much as I’m a great believer in making time for things you love doing, I hadn’t been putting my money where my mouth was in the months leading up to October 2022.

My crochet basket was gathering dust, my piano was languishing largely unplayed, and my Goodreads target was barely on course (despite being set strategically low).

#Noplansnovember was a chance to turn all of that around and rediscover the joy of time spent nurturing my inner grandma. I baked and read and did jigsaws and made music and finally finished some of the crochet projects that had been interrupted time and time again. Nothing complicated or demanding, but plenty of variety, and time to remind myself what it was other than work that gave me a sense of fulfilment.

So now, over to you. Would a #noplans month work for you? Would it leave you feeling refreshed, or starved of busy? What haven’t you had a chance to find joy in recently, and how might you make time for it? Maybe you’ll find it doesn’t need a full month – but what’s the worst that could happen if you did carve out some time for rest?  

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